Jordan. Where do I begin? Over the last 6 months I’ve experienced my highest highs, and my lowest lows. From being completely alone and 6,800 miles away from my friends and family, to being joined by several familiar faces in the last two months, I’ve certainly grown as a person and I’ve learned a good bit about myself.
I remember when I first landed. I sat in this new place I was supposed to call home and thought about how I had just made the worst mistake of my life. I was scared to death and horribly jetlagged. It took me about 3 weeks to realize that what I had decided to do was not a mistake. I had never felt so lonely and vulnerable like I did during those first weeks. I knew it would be an adjustment, but nothing could’ve prepared me for how I would feel when I arrived. I was so ready to throw in the towel and come home after about my second week. However, my pride was on the line and I knew that just wasn’t an option for me. I made the right decision to stick it out and stay put, even though I was completely miserable. Once I got to know my teachers, things got a lot easier.
February and March were definitely the most difficult months. The weather was much colder than I expected it to be and I was acclimating to being by myself for the majority of the time. Before going to Jordan, I was a person who thrived being around others and one who placed no value in giving myself alone time. Now that I am back in the States, this is something that has definitely stuck with me. I’ve come back a much more introverted person than ever before. April was a very good month for me. For Spring Break, I was able to meet my boyfriend and Malta. Seeing such a familiar face after being away for two and a half months was game changing for me. It gave me the boost to go ahead and finish out the remaining three and a half months. May was the first month I was joined by another Ole Miss student and my quality of life in Jordan was enhanced significantly. Ramadan was a little difficult, but it didn’t matter because at least I wasn’t alone all the time. I’ll never forget May 1st. My teachers and I took a trip to Ajloun and as we were driving through the hills, this was the first time I realized I might actually miss Jordan. This was such an important turning point in my experience. I was always happy to have had the opportunity, but on May 1st I realized I was truly happy to be there. June and July flew by as more and more students began to join the program. This was definitely the best of times. However, two weeks before I was supposed to arrive back home, I found out that one of my biggest supporters had passed away. This completely crushed my spirits and having to finish the program before going home was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. No one tells you what to do when these types of situations arise. Luckily, I was surrounded by a network of Ole Miss students to help me get through and for them I will always be grateful.
My time in Jordan was an investment well spent. To anyone considering going abroad for an extended period of time, I would definitely recommend to take the leap of faith and go for the experience. Things may not go exactly how you think they will, but that’s the fun part, I guess. I learned how to be a much more laid-back person through the process and will always remember my experiences for better and for worse. Jordan has taught me so many things about myself that I didn’t know. And for me, that is reason enough to make the trip worth it. I am very thankful to have been able to share my experiences through Rebels Abroad and am sad to say this is my last blog. Jordan, you will always have a place in my heart. Thank you.